The Birth of the World’s Oldest Hate
Family Edition

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Vayetse

Inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

The Summary

This is an abridged version of the essay The Birth of the World’s Oldest Hate, written by Rabbi Sacks in 2011.

In the Pesach Haggadah there is a verse which states that Lavan was even worse to Bnei Yisrael than Paroh. This is extraordinarily difficult to understand. In Vayetse, Lavan deceived Yaakov, tried to exploit him, and chased after him when he fled. Lavan behaved outrageously to Yaakov, but he did not try to “destroy” him, or to kill his sons as Paroh tried to kill all male Israelite children. Paroh also enslaved and practised slow genocide against the Israelites. How could Lavan be worse than this?

The answer is that Lavan’s behaviour gave rise to the centuries of hate that Jews have endured, although at first Lavan seems like an ally. He offers Yaakov refuge from Eisav, yet it turns out that his behaviour is self-interested and calculating. Yaakov agrees to work for him for seven years, to then wed Rachel. But on the wedding night, Lavan switches Rachel for Leah. Yaakov has to work another seven years for Rachel. When Yosef is born, Yaakov tries to leave. Lavan protests. Yaakov toils another six years but Lavan’s sons accuse him of getting rich at Lavan’s expense, and finally, Yaakov senses that Lavan himself is becoming hostile. Yaakov is a non-person in Lavan’s eyes, and decides they must escape. 

Ultimately, Lavan is angry that Yaakov maintains his dignity and independence. Faced with an impossible existence, Yaakov refuses to be defeated. Hemmed in on all sides, he finds a way out. That is Yaakov’s greatness. His methods are not those he would have chosen in other circumstances. He has to outwit an extremely cunning adversary. But Yaakov refuses to be defeated or crushed and demoralised. 

Throughout time, this became a repeated pattern. Jews

sought refuge from those who attacked them. Nations gave them refuge but demanded a price. They saw a people who could make them rich. Yet the Jewish people refused to be owned. They had their own identity and way of life; they insisted on the basic human right to be free. The host society then eventually turned against them. They claimed that Jews were exploiting them when they themselves were exploiters. And when Jews succeeded, they accused them of theft, and they would have to escape.

Amy Chua argues that a host society will always direct ethnic hatred against any conspicuously successful minority, as Jews tended to be. Israel in the context of the Middle East is a conspicuously successful minority. It is a small country, with few limited resources, and it has outshone its neighbours. The result is envy then anger, then hate. And it all began with Yaakov and Lavan. He was a minority, he was successful, and it was conspicuous. Lavan was, in effect, the source of antisemitism. Where Paroh was a one-time enemy of the Jews, Lavan exists in age after age. 

Yaakov stands for minorities and small nations everywhere. He is the refusal to let large powers crush the few, the weak, and the refugees. He maintains his inner dignity and freedom. He contributes to other people’s prosperity but he defeats every attempt to be exploited. Yaakov is the voice that says: I too am human. I too have rights. I too am free.

Lavan is the eternal paradigm of hatred of conspicuously successful minorities, but Yaakov is the eternal paradigm of the human capacity to survive the hatred of others. In this way Yaakov becomes the voice of hope in the conversation of humankind, the living proof that hate never wins the final victory; freedom does. 

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Around the Shabbat Table

Questions to Ponder

  1. Do you think the resilience Yaakov demonstrated is an inherently Jewish quality?
  2. How can holding onto our identity help us in difficult situations?
  3. Consider other stories of this same Jewish resilience in the Torah and modern-day history. What similarities can you find across the narratives?

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Written by Sara Lamm

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Yaakov leaves Beersheva and makes his way to his uncle's home in Charan. On the way there Yaakov rests for the night and dreams of a ladder reaching to heaven, with angels ascending and descending on it. God appears, promising Yaakov that the land he lies on will belong to his descendants. Yaakov marks the spot as holy, pledging it to be a house of God.

In Charan, Yaakov works for his Uncle Lavan, for seven years, tending his sheep, in order to marry Lavan's daughter Rachel. But at the wedding Lavan, deceives Yaakov by giving him his elder daughter Leah, instead of Rachel, whom he loves. Yaakov must promise to work another seven years in order to also marry Rachel. He agrees and they wed the following week. Leah has six sons but Rachel waits a long time for children. Over time, Yaakov fathers 13 children with Rachel, Leah, and their handmaids (12 in this week's Parsha).

After 20 years of work, Yaakov leaves Charan, escaping Lavan and his schemes (which God warns Lavan against carrying out. They make a peace pact, and Yaakov returns home.

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Philosophy of Rabbi Sacks

Jews have often faced a subtle, creeping form of antisemitism - a hatred that doesn’t come with immediate threats but slips into people’s hearts and minds over time. This kind of slow, sneaky prejudice began with Lavan. He didn’t attack Yaakov outright; instead, he manipulated him, tried to keep him dependent, and subtly made him feel like an outsider who didn’t belong. 

This hidden resentment has echoed throughout history as societies have allowed envy and suspicion to fester, blaming Jews for their own prosperity and contributions. Lavan’s approach was one of control and quiet malice - a form of hatred that becomes ingrained and passed down, often unnoticed until it erupts. 

However, Yaakov’s story is also a reminder of the quiet power of resilience and integrity. Despite Lavan’s schemes, Yaakov held onto his identity and values, refusing to be defined by anyone else’s terms. His life teaches us the importance of staying strong in our faith and preserving our uniqueness, no matter the challenges.

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The Building of Bridges

Activity:

Split into teams and try to build a bridge using items around the house. The bridge must suspend so that an apple can pass under it. When the time is up, see which bridge can support the most fruit? Then reflect on the experience.

Consider:

How did working together help us complete the task? What are some ways we as the Jewish people can continue to build bridges with the people around us?

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A Story for the Ages

Asher was one of the only Jewish kids at his school, and every day at lunch he faced the same challenge. While his classmates devoured pizza, chicken nuggets, milkshakes and burgers from the school cafeteria, Asher carefully unpacked his kosher meal from home, usually a sandwich, some fruit, and a snack, prepared by one of his parents. The aroma of meat and cheese would fill the air, and he couldn’t help but feel a little left out as everyone enjoyed their hot meals without a care. 

At first, some of his friends didn’t get it. “Come on, just take a bite!” they’d tease, wafting a slice of pepperoni pizza under his nose. “No one will know.” But Asher stood firm. “I can’t,” he’d say, with a shrug. “It’s part of being Jewish and keeping the commandments.”

Then one day, everything changed. The school held a multicultural day where students were encouraged to bring in food that represented their heritage. Asher brought in a big batch of his mum’s homemade challah with some dips and spreads, and it was an instant hit. The other students loved it, and his teacher asked him to tell the class more about Shabbat. 

Asher still had to advocate for himself, but now his food and customs were met with positive curiosity, rather than disdain. His friends started to use a different tone when they asked him questions, and they respected him for keeping to the laws and customs of his faith. He started a new tradition of bringing a challah to school every Friday too, and they couldn’t get enough of it. Some people even asked him for the recipe, and Asher was pleased to share it!   

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Written by Rabbi Barry Kleinberg

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A summary

Haftara for Vayetse

Hosea 12:13-14:10 (Ashkenazim)  - some also add Yoel 2:26-27
Hosea 11:7-12:12 (Sefardim)

Hosea (Hoshea in Hebrew) reflects on Israel’s history and their continued rebellion against God. He recalls how God led Israel through the wilderness by prophets like Moses and provided for them. Despite God’s care, Israel has turned to deceit, idolatry, and foreign alliances. Hosea warns of the impending consequences of their disobedience - destruction and exile - but also conveys a final message of hope. 

In chapter 14, Hosea implores the people to repent, promising that if they turn back to God, He will heal their waywardness, love them freely, and restore them, making them fruitful and strong again. 

The book ends with a reminder that the wise will understand and follow God’s ways, while the rebellious will stumble.

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  1. Why do you think that the prophets are constantly reminding the Jewish people of their relationship to God?
  2. Why was it so much harder to serve God faithfully after the leadership of Joshua was over?
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Tanach Connections

The Haftara and Parsha have an obvious connection. The first verse of the Haftara (in the Ashkenazi passage) states that “Yaakov fled to the field of Aram, and Yisrael [Yaakov] served [worked] for a wife. To earn a wife, he shepherded.” 

Here we have a summary of the beginning of our Parsha. Yaakov flees and works for Lavan for twenty years. He guards the flock to “earn” a wife. 

Many commentators ask why Hoshea refers to the life of Yaakov when reprimanding his own generation. Rashi, Ibn Ezra and Radak answer that just as God had protected Yaakov throughout his life and enabled him to return home with great wealth, so too the Jewish people (in the time of Hoshea) should be grateful and trust in God.         

The book of Hoshea also reflects God’s love for His people almost as a faithful partner, and Yaakov’s love for his wife Rachel is one of the most emphasised marital loves in the Torah.

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Putting the Prophets into Context

Hosea is the first of the 12 books of the minor prophets. According to Rabbi Sacks, “The story of Hosea is one of the strangest of that great chain of visionaries we call the Prophets.”  It focuses on the prophet Hosea’s messages to the northern kingdom of Israel during the 8th century BCE. The central theme is God’s steadfast love and Israel’s unfaithfulness, depicted through Hosea’s own troubled marriage to Gomer, a woman who repeatedly betrays him. This relationship symbolises Israel’s spiritual infidelity when the people worship false gods and break their covenant with God. 

Rabbi Sacks tells us that Hosea was the “supreme poet of marriage.”[1] Despite Israel’s sins, Hosea’s prophecies emphasise that God desires repentance and reconciliation. He is always willing to restore His people if they return to Him, highlighting both Divine judgment and mercy. 

[1] See the Covenant & Conversation piece entitled 'Love as Law, Law as Love' from Rabbi Sacks on Bamidbar

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"Though others may lose faith in us, and though we may even lose faith in ourselves, God never loses faith in us.
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How the Light Gets in, Vayetse, Covenant & Conversation from the 'Studies in Spirituality' series

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Do you think our relationship with God strengthens or weakens during crises?

Covenant & Conversation Family Edition

Written as an accompaniment to Rabbi Sacks’ weekly Covenant & Conversation essay, the Family Edition is aimed at connecting teenagers with his ideas and thoughts on the parsha.

With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship of Covenant & Conversation, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel.

“I have loved the Torah of R’ Chaim Schimmel ever since I first encountered it. It strives to be not just about truth on the surface but also its connection to a deeper truth beneath. Together with Anna, his remarkable wife of 60 years, they built a life dedicated to love of family, community, and Torah. An extraordinary couple who have moved me beyond measure by the example of their lives.” — Rabbi Sacks

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