Two Types of Hate
Family Edition

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The Summary

This summary is adapted from this week’s main Covenant & Conversation essay by Rabbi Sacks.

In the days of Moshe, Bnei Yisrael had two enemies: the Egyptians and the Amalekites. The Egyptians enslaved Bnei Yisrael, turned them into a forced labour colony and oppressed them. They sought to drown every male Jewish child. It was attempted genocide. Nevertheless, Moshe commands us, “Do not despise an Egyptian because you were strangers in his land” (Devarim 23:8).

In contrast, Amalekites only attacked Bnei Yisrael once, an attack which failed. Yet Moshe commands, “Remember!” “Do not forget!” “Blot out the name!”

Why the difference? Why did Moshe tell Bnei Yisrael to forgive the Egyptians but not the Amalekites? The answer is to be found in a teaching in Pirkei Avot:

Whenever love depends on a cause, and the cause passes away, then the love passes away, too. But if love does not depend on a cause, then the love will never pass away.

When love is unconditional, it never ceases. The same applies to hate. When hate is rational, based on fear or disapproval that – justified or not – has some logic to it, then it can be reasoned with and overcome. But unconditional, irrational hatred cannot be reasoned with. It always persists.

That was the difference between the Amalekites and the Egyptians. The Egyptians’ hatred and fear of the Bnei Yisrael began when the Egyptians saw they were flourishing and constituted a potential threat to the native population. Historians tell us that this was not groundless. Egypt had already suffered from one invasion of outsiders: the Hyksos, an Asiatic people who took over the Nile Delta during the Second Intermediate Period of the Egypt of the pharaohs. (Note: Their fear was rational, but it was also unjustified. Bnei Yisrael never wanted to take over Egypt.)

Precisely, the opposite was true of the Amalekites. They attacked Bnei Yisrael when they were “weary and weak”. They focused their assault on those at the back, tired and lagging. Those who are weak and lagging pose no danger. This was irrational, groundless hate.

With rational hate, it is possible to reconsider. There was no reason for the Egyptians to fear Bnei Yisrael after they left Egypt and were no longer a threat. But with irrational hate it has no cause, no logic. Therefore it is impossible to argue with, and may never go away. Irrational hate is as durable and persistent as irrational love. All one can do is to remember, and to fight it whenever and wherever it appears.

Antisemitism is the paradigm case of irrational hatred. In the Middle Ages, Jews were accused of poisoning wells, spreading the plague, and the Blood Libel. By the nineteenth century, Jews were hated because they were rich and because they were poor; because they were capitalists and because they were communists; because they kept to themselves and because they infiltrated everywhere; because they were believers in an ancient, superstitious faith and because they were rootless cosmopolitans who believed nothing. Antisemitism was the supreme irrationality in an ‘Age of Reason’.

This led to the myth known as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, forged by members of the Czarist Russia secret police toward the end of the 19th century. It held that Jews had power over the whole of Europe – at the time of the Russian pogroms of 1881 and the antisemitic May Laws of 1882, which sent some three million Jews, powerless and impoverished, into flight from Russia to the West. No less shocking has been the return of antisemitism to parts of the world today, particularly the Middle East and even Europe, within living memory of the Holocaust. Yet the Torah intimates why. Irrational hate does not die.

Not all hostility to Jews, or Israel as a Jewish State, is irrational, and where it is not, it can be reasoned with. But some of it is irrational. Some of it, even today, is a repeat of the myths of the past, from the Blood Libel to the Protocols. All we can do is remember and not forget, confront it and defend ourselves against it.

Amalek does not die. But neither does the Jewish people. Attacked so many times over the centuries, it still lives, giving testimony to the victory of the God of love over the myths and madness of hate.

HOPE ISRAEL LOVE HEART FLAG ISRAELI SHALOM YOM HAAZTMAUT

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Around the Shabbat Table

  1. How can irrational hatred become more dangerous than rational hatred?  
  2. Why do you think it’s so important to remember Amalek even nowadays?
  3. Do you think we’re facing a type of Amalek today?
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Parsha in Passing

Ki Teitse includes 74 commandments, which is more than any other portion in the whole Torah! Key mitzvot include laws on marrying captives, the rights of a firstborn son, and the rebellious son’s punishment.

The obligation to return lost items, the prohibition against cruelty to animals, and the requirement to send away a mother bird before taking its young are also detailed.

Laws concerning marriage, divorce, and levirate marriage are covered, alongside prohibitions on cross-dressing, mixing seeds, and wearing garments of mixed materials. There are laws for keeping army camps clean, honouring vows, and prohibiting interest on loans. Newlyweds are also given a law that makes them exempt from military service for a year.

The portion also discusses the prohibition of kidnapping, the requirement to pay workers on time, and the importance of fair weights and measures. Finally, it ends with the incredibly important commandment to remember and eradicate Amalek’s memory.

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Parsha Principles

returning lost property item jacket help mitzva kindness of strangers

Remembering Amalek: Recall the foe, don’t let it go, for vigilance helps our goodness grow.

Lost Property: When things are found along the way, unite them with their owner and make their day!

Memory: Remembering might keep wrong from right, guiding us through history’s night.

Rational vs. irrational fear:  Fear with cause can give us pause, but groundless dread breeds chaos instead.

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Parsha Practical

One of the most straightforward and practical mitzvot to be found in parshat Ki Teitse is the commandment to return a lost object to its owner. This is a practical mitzva that still stands to this day, and anyone can do it! In short, if you find some lost property, do your best to reunite it with its owner.

There are some exceptions, like if you see coins scattered on the ground, and there’s no way to be sure exactly how much money was dropped, and who dropped it, then ‘finders’ keepers’ rules apply. But often you can find clues to lead you to the true owner or create lost property systems so that people can return to find their lost items!

This mitzva encapsulates the values of honesty and consideration for others. It is an act which fulfils a biblical commandment and helps foster trust and kindness within the community. Plus - as we all know - it feels lovely to have a lost object returned to you!

  • Why do you think this was part of the list of commandments in this specific parsha?
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Parsha Playoff

Let’s play “Sense and Nonsensibility”. Divide the family into Team Rational and Team Irrational. Choose a debate topic, silly or serious. Teams have 2 minutes to prepare arguments for their assigned perspective. Each team presents for 1 minute, then rebuts for 1 minute. Non-team members judge the most convincing argument. Discuss what made arguments rational or irrational. Switch roles and repeat with a new topic! Hint: the more obscure the topic, the better!

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Parsha Philosophy


Rabbi Sacks explains the distinction between rational and irrational hatred, looking at the deep-seated, unfounded hatred of Amalek towards Am Yisrael, and how this was the first seed of the antisemitic movements over the centuries, up until today. Amalek attacked the people at a vulnerable moment, and not because they were a threat. Their hatred had no basis in fear or logic. Irrational hatred, as expressed by Amalek, is enduring and must be actively remembered and confronted because it can resurface at any time, as seen in the persistence of antisemitism throughout history.

  • Can you think of a time when you’ve felt the difference between rational “frustration” (let’s try to avoid hatred!) and irrational frustration during a certain situation?
Young Sister and Brother Arguing over a Game
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Parsha Parable


Ask a Good Kasha

In 1898, Israel (Izzy) Isaac Rabi was born in Austria-Hungary, and soon thereafter the whole family moved to New York. When he started school, the teachers assumed that Izzy was short for Isidor, without asking, and so that became his official name too.   Izzy was fascinated by physics. When he turned 13 and delivered his Bar Mitzvah speech - in Yiddish - he focussed most of his drasha on how electric lights work.  

Isidor Rabi went on to become a famous scientist. He won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1944 for his work on a method that allowed us to study atoms better and led to the invention of MRI machines and the microwave! 

When asked about his success later in life, Isidor would often credit his mother. He would say, ‘Every other mother would take her child home from school and ask them, “Did you learn anything today?” But not my mother. She always asked me a different question. “Izzy, did you ask a good ‘kasha’ (question) today?” That difference – encouraging me to ask good questions – made me a scientist!’ 

Izzy’s mother asked him a question about questions that shaped his life. It taught him the importance of curiosity and critical thinking. She taught him to do more than just accept information, encouraging him to seek to understand it, and to check it was true. It also helped him stay connected to his Jewish heritage, which valued asking questions and seeking knowledge. Rabbi Sacks would often tell the story of Rabi. He linked it to the Jewish tradition of teaching children ‘Ma Nishtana’, and encouraging them to ask questions at Pesach, and always. 

Rabi continued to ask good questions throughout his life. He felt it taught him to challenge assumptions and consistently seek to learn more. Asking good questions and seeking understanding can lead to outstanding achievements. More importantly, this same curiosity about others, their lives, and their perspectives is one of the best ways to overcome hatred. 

nobel prize winning rabi isidor teaching at blackboard
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Parsha Puzzle

Question:
This is a riddle once posed by the Ibn Ezra (a rabbi of the Middle Ages): There is a country without a land. All of its kings and dignitaries are lifeless, and if the king is annihilated, then no one is left alive... where is it?

Answer:
A chessboard.

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Parsha Ponderings

What Would You Do...


...if you were confronted with modern-day irrational hatred? Do you think there’s any way to reason with someone whose hatred is profoundly irrational?


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Covenant & Conversation Family Edition

Written as an accompaniment to Rabbi Sacks’ weekly Covenant & Conversation essay, the Family Edition is aimed at connecting teenagers with his ideas and thoughts on the parsha.

With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship of Covenant & Conversation, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel.

“I have loved the Torah of R’ Chaim Schimmel ever since I first encountered it. It strives to be not just about truth on the surface but also its connection to a deeper truth beneath. Together with Anna, his remarkable wife of 60 years, they built a life dedicated to love of family, community, and Torah. An extraordinary couple who have moved me beyond measure by the example of their lives.” — Rabbi Sacks

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