Taking It Personally

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This week in Pasha Korach, we read about one of the great rebellions in Jewish history.

Korach and his group of followers and fellow rebels mount a protest against the leadership of Moses and Aaron. And Moses makes a dramatic intervention. I'm going to call this, “How Not to End a Rebellion”.

So let's begin at the beginning. Korach rebels. Korach and his followers rebel against Moses, and they challenge his leadership.

"Kulam kedoshim uvtocham Hashem umadu’a titnassu al-kehal Hashem?"

"We're all holy. Why do you lift yourself up above us?"

Bamidbar 16:3

‘Why do you give yourself airs and graces? It's too much.’ Korach rebels. Korach, son of Kehat, the son of Levi, who was very envious that he wasn't made a Kohen. Then there were some people from the tribe of Reuven. ‘Don't forget Reuven was Jacob's first-born son. So how come none of the Reubenites got positions of leadership?’ And there were 250 Israelite men from other tribes, well-known community leaders. ‘How come nobody invited us?’ In other words, it was a typical Jewish broiges. Why weren't we invited? Why aren't we on the leadership team? And so on

The question is, what happens next. As you know, something rather dramatic happens. Moses prays that the ground opens up and swallows his followers alive.

He says, (Bamidbar 16:30) if the Lord brings about something totally new, and the earth opens its mouth and swallows them with everything that belongs to them, and they go down alive into the realm of the dead, then you will know that I'm the leader and not them.

Now, I would call that a pretty reasonable way of ending a conflict. Would we not like all those people who are against us, that the ground should open up and swallow them alive? You would have thought that's a pretty effective means of conflict resolution. Well, you would have thought since what Moses prayed to happen, happened and happened immediately, It would have ended the conflict, right?

What happens next?

The next day, the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron, ‘You've killed the Lord's people,’ they said.

Bamidbar 16:41

It didn't end the conflict. They are still complaining. And something very serious then happens. God sends a plague against the people.

“The plague has started”, says Moses (Bamidbar 16:47). “Go do something” says Aaron. And by the end, 14, 700, people died from the plague. (Bamidbar 16:49)

It did not end the conflict.

Now, this is odd because we know that if you have a really serious problem and you want a miracle to prove your point, and the miracle happens, the miracle solves the problem.

You remember Moses says, “Lo Ya'aminu li”, they won't believe me. (Shemot 4:1)

God says, you want to persuade the Israelites that you're the guy, take your staff and it'll turn into a snake ,and they'll believe you.

And you know what? He took the staff, it turned into a snake, and they believed him.

Moses says, but Pharaoh won't listen to me. And Hashem says, well, show him some signs. And if he doesn't believe the signs, I'll send a plague. And if he doesn't believe that I'll send another plague, and another plague.

And by the time we get to plague three - lice - already the Egyptian magicians who can do most things but not lice, (definitely not on the curriculum of being a magician), they say it's “B’Elokim,”, it's God's work. God does the miracle and the result happens.

The most famous of all, Elijah and the prophets of Baal at Mount Carmel. Elijah says, let's have an open contest, prepare a sacrifice. See if God sends down fire or if Baal sends down fire, and we shall see. And the prophets of Baal try and they pray and nothing happens.

And Elijah says, shout a bit louder. It may be that your god is asleep. Maybe there's trouble on the mobile phone and he hasn't got the message anyway. They try and try and try. Nothing happens. Elijah makes a prayer to God, fire comes down, and everyone says “Hashem hu Elokim”. The last words we say on Neilah on Yom Kippur, “Hashem hu Elokim”.

So the result is that you got a problem, you have a miracle, end a problem, right?

But it didn't happen here. It did not happen here. The truth is that the miracle didn't end the problem. And do you know why?

Hang on - Do you know what did solve the problem?

God says to Moses, take 12 sticks, one from each tribe and just wait and see which one stops being a dead piece of wood and starts sprouting leaves and blossoms and fruit.

And Aaron's rod brings out leaves and flowers and shkeidim - almonds - and everyone knows Aaron was chosen to be the Priest that ended the conflict and only that ended the conflict.

Why? Because the truth is that right at the beginning, Moses got it right. Right at the beginning, he realised that Korach and all his rebels were not rebelling against Moses. They were rebelling against Aaron. They knew Moses was the leader. Only he could speak to God, only he could bring about miracles. Only he could send the plagues. Only he could divide the Red Sea. Nobody's going to challenge a guy with leadership credentials like that. But your ‘number two’, Aaron? Well, we're as good as Aaron. And that's what they wanted. Their real challenge was against Aaron. And Moses knew this at the beginning:

“But now you're trying to get the priesthood too?”

Bamidbar 16:10

You know, isn't it enough that you schlep the Ark, now you want to be Kohen Gadol as well?  

“Who is Aaron that you should grumble against him?”

Bamidbar 16:11

At the beginning, Moses knew the problem isn't Moses but Aaron, the trouble is that the more they needle him and complain, he kind of forgets and starts thinking that they are attacking him. See what he says: “This is how you will know that the Lord has sent me” (Bamidbar 16:28), that it was not my idea. God chose me, right?

As the pressure mounts, he suddenly forgets the real issue which is Aaron, and he starts taking it personally. ‘If the miracle happens, this will prove I didn't make this up. I was chosen by God.’ He takes it personally. And at that moment, the conflict has been taken on by Moses and Moses starts defending himself.

And when that happens, you're in trouble. But the principle is, never take it personally. That is the point.

Do you remember what actually sealed Moses’ fate much later? Do you remember Moses struck the rock. That was the sin for which he was not able to take the people into the land? What did he say?

Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water from this rock?”

He personalised it. “Must we bring you water?

It wasn't about ‘Can Moses bring water?’ It was, ‘Can God bring water?’

But he takes their challenge about the water personally, and he loses his cool and gets angry with them, and that seals his fate. He's not privileged to take the out of the land. Never take it personally.

And where did it begin? It began with Korach. When Moses under great stress facing this challenge, forgot that it wasn't about him at all. It was about the priesthood.

When you take it personally, you lose your cool, you get angry, you start becoming defensive, aggressive, and then it becomes ad hominem, up close and personal.

And when a leader takes it personally, he ceases to be a leader. The rule is very simple. Never take it personally.

Shabbat shalom.

When we read the story of Korach, our attention tends to be focused on the rebels. We don't give as much reflection as we might to the response of Moses. Was it right? Was it wrong? It's a complex story. As the Ramban explains, it is no accident that the Korach rebellion happened in the aftermath of the story of the spies. So long as the people expected to enter the Promised Land, they stood to lose more than they could gain by challenging Moses’ leadership. He had successfully negotiated all obstacles in the past. He was their best hope. But now a whole generation was condemned to die in the wilderness. Now they had nothing to lose. When people have nothing to lose, rebellions happen.

Next, let us examine the constitution of rebels themselves. It's clear from the narrative that they were not a uniform or unified group. The Malbim explains that there were three different groups, each with their own grievance and agenda. First was Korach himself, a cousin to Moses. Moses was the child of Kehat’s eldest son, Amram. As the child of Kehat’s second son, Yitzhar, Korach felt entitled to the second leadership role, that of High Priest.

Second were Datan and Aviram, who felt that they were entitled to leadership positions as descendants of Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn.

Third were the 250 others, described by the Torah as “Princes of the Assembly, famous in the congregation, men of renown.” Either they felt that they had earned the right to be leaders on meritocratic grounds, or – Ibn Ezra's suggestion – they were firstborns who resented the fact that the role of ministering to God was taken from the firstborn sons and given to the Levites after the sin of the Golden Calf. A coalition of the differently discontented: that is how rebellions tend to start.

What was Moses’ reaction to their rebellion? His first response is to propose a simple, decisive test: Let everyone bring an offering of incense, and then let God decide whose to accept. But the derisive, insolent response of Datan and Aviram seems to unnerve him. He turns to God and says:

“Do not accept their offering. I have not taken so much as a donkey from them, nor have I wronged any of them.”

Num. 16:15

But they had not said that he had. That is the first discordant note.

God then threatens to punish the whole congregation. Moses and Aaron intercede on their behalf. God tells Moses to separate the community from the rebels so that they will not be caught up in the punishment, which Moses does. But he then does something unprecedented. He says:

“This is how you will know that the Lord has sent me to do all these things and that it was not my idea: If these men die a natural death and suffer the fate of all humankind, then the Lord has not sent me. But if the Lord brings about something totally new, and the earth opens its mouth and swallows them, with everything that belongs to them, and they go down alive into the realm of the dead, then you will know that these men have treated the Lord with contempt.”

Num. 16:28-30

This was the only time Moses asked God to punish someone, and the only time he challenged Him to perform a miracle.

God does as Moses asks. Naturally we expect that this will end the rebellion: God has sent an unmistakable sign that Moses was right, the rebels wrong. But it doesn't. Far from ending the rebellion, things now escalate:

The next day the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. “You have killed the Lord’s people,” they said. 

Num. 17:6 

The people gather around Moses and Aaron as if about to attack them. God starts smiting the people with a plague. Moses tells Aaron to make atonement, and eventually the plague stops. But some 14,700 people have died. Not until a quite different demonstration takes place – when Moses takes twelve rods representing the twelve tribes, and Aaron’s buds and blossoms and bears fruit ­– does the rebellion finally end.

It is hard to avoid the conclusion that Moses’ intervention, challenging God to make the earth swallow his opponents, was a tragic mistake. If so, what kind of mistake was it?

The Harvard leadership expert, Ronald Heifetz, makes the point that it is essential for a leader to distinguish between role and self. A role is a position we hold. The self is who we are. Leadership is a role. It is not an identity. It is not who we are. Therefore a leader should never take an attack on their leadership personally:

It's a common ploy to personalise the debate over issues as a strategy for taking you out of action . . . You want to respond when you are attacked . . . You want to leap into the fray when you are mischaracterised . . . When people attack you personally, the reflexive reaction is to take it personally . . . But being criticised by people you care about is almost always a part of exercising leadership . . . When you take personal attacks personally, you unwittingly conspire in one of the common ways you can be taken out of action – you make yourself the issue. 

Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky, Leadership on the Line, Harvard Business School Press, 2002, pp. 130, 190-191.

Moses twice takes the rebellion personally. First, he defends himself to God after being insulted by Datan and Aviram. Second, he asks God miraculously and decisively to show that he – Moses – is God’s chosen leader. But Moses was not the issue. He had already taken the right course of action in proposing the test of the incense offering. That would have resolved the question. As for the underlying reason that the rebellion was possible at all – the fact that the people were devastated by the knowledge that they would not live to enter the Promised Land – there was nothing Moses could do.

Moses allowed himself to be provoked by Korach’s claim, “Why do you set yourselves above the Lord’s assembly” and by Datan and Aviram’s offensive remark, “And now you want to lord it over us!” These were deeply personal attacks, but by taking them as such, Moses allowed his opponents to define the terms of engagement. As a result, the conflict was intensified instead of defused.

It is hard not to see this as the first sign of the failing that would eventually cost Moses his chance of leading the people into the land. When, almost forty years later, he says to the people who complain about the lack of drink, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” (Num. 20:10), he shows the same tendency to personalise the issue (“must we bring you water?”) – but it never was about “we” but about God.

The Torah is devastatingly honest about Moses, as it is about all its heroes. Humans are only human. Even the greatest makes mistakes. In the case of Moses, his greatest strength was also his greatest weakness. His anger at injustice singled him out as a leader in the first place. But he allowed himself to be provoked to anger by the people he led, and it was this, according to Rambam (Eight Chapters, ch. 4), that eventually caused him to forfeit his chance of entering the Land of Israel.

Heifetz writes:

“Receiving anger. . . is a sacred task . . . Taking the heat with grace communicates respect for the pains of change.”

Ibid. pp. 142-146.

After the episode of the spies, Moses faced an almost impossible task. How do you lead a people when they know they will not reach their destination in their lifetime? In the end what stilled the rebellion was the sight of Aaron’s rod, a piece of dry wood, coming to life again, bearing flowers and fruit. Perhaps this was not just about Aaron but about the Israelites themselves. Having thought of themselves as condemned to die in the desert, perhaps they now realised that they too had borne fruit – their children – and it would be they who completed the journey their parents had begun. That, in the end, was their consolation.

Of all the challenges of leadership, not taking criticism personally and staying calm when the people you lead are angry with you, may be the hardest of all. That may be why the Torah says what it does about Moses, the greatest leader who ever lived. It is a way of warning future generations: if at times you are pained by people’s anger, take comfort. So did Moses. But remember the price Moses paid, and stay calm.

Though it may seem otherwise, the anger you face has nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with what you stand for and represent. Depersonalising attacks is the best way to deal with them. People get angry when leaders cannot magically make harsh reality disappear. Leaders in such circumstances are called on to accept that anger with grace. That truly is a sacred task.


questions english 5783 Around the Shabbat Table
  1. How else might the story of the spies have influenced the Korach rebellion?
  2. What do you think Moses learned from this rebellion?
  3. How do you think leaders should respond to criticism? 

With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship of Covenant & Conversation, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel.

“I have loved the Torah of R’ Chaim Schimmel ever since I first encountered it. It strives to be not just about truth on the surface but also its connection to a deeper truth beneath. Together with Anna, his remarkable wife of 60 years, they built a life dedicated to love of family, community, and Torah. An extraordinary couple who have moved me beyond measure by the example of their lives.” — Rabbi Sacks

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