● This summary is adapted from the essay written by Rabbi Sacks in 2012, available here.
It is a scene that still has the power to shock us. The people complain about their lack of water, again. But this time, Moshe loses control: “Listen, you rebels,” he shouts at them. “Shall we bring you water out of this rock?” He then strikes the rock twice with his staff.
We are told that after this, Moshe is not permitted to lead the people into Israel. Many see it as a punishment for him losing his temper. Or perhaps did not “sin.” Maybe he was the right leader for the generation that left Egypt, but not for their children, who needed inspiration more than intervention. Moshe’s leadership, like the sun, was overpowering. Joshua’s, like the moon, empowered others.
But the question remains: Why did Moshe lose control here? The people were in a desert, and therefore often worried about water. He had faced similar complaints before, both at Mara and Rephidim. At Rephidim, he even feared being stoned, yet kept his composure. Why did he lose it now?
The text gives us a subtle clue, by beginning the chapter: “In the first month, the whole Israelite community arrived at the desert of Zin, and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried. Now there was no water for the community…” Tradition tells of a miraculous well that accompanied the Israelites during Miriam’s lifetime, in her merit. When she died, the water ceased. But there’s more. Moshe had just lost his sister. This wasn’t just about water. It was about grief.
Loss of a sibling is deeply personal. Unlike a parent, a sibling belongs to your generation. Their death brings mortality painfully close. And Miriam had been more than Moshe’s sister; she had helped to save his life. As a child, she watched over his basket on the Nile, then bravely spoke to Pharaoh’s daughter to ensure Moshe was raised by his own mother. Throughout his life, Miriam was an important presence. She was the one who led the women in song at the Red Sea. She supported his leadership and his mission, only challenging him once, out of concern for his wife. (Though punished, the Sages defend her motives here as sincere.)
Miriam’s death therefore left Moshe vulnerable. The people’s complaints about water coincided with the personal void her absence created. It wasn’t just that the people lost their water; Moshe lost the sister who had always supported and guided him.
Bereavement leaves us deeply vulnerable. In the midst of loss, we can find it hard to control our emotions. We make mistakes. We act rashly. We lose judgement. Even prophets are not immune. Rambam explains that Yaakov, also a prophet, did not know Yosef was alive because grief blocks prophecy.
So, when God told Moshe to speak to the rock, perhaps the message didn’t fully register. Overwhelmed with grief, he struck instead. Yes, Moshe lost his temper. He struck the rock. He said “we” instead of “God.” But the deeper truth is more human than theological. Moshe’s outburst was an expression of profound personal loss. The sister who once saved him, sang with him, and stood by him through decades of leadership was gone.
Ultimately, this is not just a story of failure or disobedience. It is a portrait of Moshe’s humanity. The story of the moment Moses lost his confidence and calm is ultimately less about leadership and crisis, or about a staff and a rock, than about a great Jewish woman, Miriam, appreciated fully only when she was no longer there.
Around the Shabbat Table
Questions to Ponder
How does grief sometimes affect our ability to make good decisions?
Why do you think Moshe reacted so strongly at the rock, even though he had faced similar challenges before?
What other sibling relationships in the Tanach can you name? How were those relationships similar or different from that of Moses and Miriam?
On the Parsha
Written by Sara Lamm
Inspired by the Teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
The Parsha in a Nutshell
We learn the laws of the Red Heifer, whose ashes purify those who have become tamei through contact with the dead. Bnai Yisrael reach Zin. Miriam dies and the people demand water. God instructs Moshe to speak to a rock, but Moshe angrily strikes it instead. Though water flows, God decrees that Moshe and Aharon will not enter the Promised Land. Aharon dies on Mount Hor, succeeded by his son Elazar. When snakes attack after more complaints, God commands Moshe to raise a brass serpent, bringing healing to those who look upon it. Bnai Yisrael also defeat Sichon and Og, securing territory east of the Jordan.
Philosophy of Rabbi Sacks
Delving Deeper
In a truly remarkable passage, the Sages said that in the days when the people were slaves in Egypt, Miriam persuaded her father Amram, the leading scholar of his generation, to annul his decree that Hebrew husbands should divorce their wives and have no more children. His ruling was due to the 50 per cent chance that any child born would be killed. “Your decree,” said Miriam, “is worse than Pharaoh’s. He only decreed against the males, yours applies to females also. He intends to rob children of life in this world; you would deny them even life in the World to Come.”
Amram followed her superior logic. Husbands and wives were reunited. Yocheved became pregnant and Moshe was born. Note that this Midrash, told by the Sages, unambiguously implies that a six-year-old girl had more faith and wisdom than the leading rabbi of the generation!
Moshe surely knew what he owed his elder sister. In this light, the incident at Zin is less about striking a rock or disobeying God, and more about the raw, destabilising power of bereavement, even for the greatest prophet, when faced with the absence of a beloved sister.
Whether it’s your siblings, cousins, or close friends, what makes those people in your life special?
Parsha Activity
Lean on Me
Everyone stands in pairs, back-to-back or side-by-side, leaning gently against each other to stay balanced. Someone calls ‘Start’ and from that point, all you have to do is to try taking small steps together while leaning, shifting weight, or adding a third person to form a leaning chain. The goal is to work together to stay upright without falling.
What are the difficulties of learning to “lean” on someone?
What are the benefits?
A Story for the Ages
Losing Hannah
Hannah Szenes was just 23 years old when she jumped from a British plane into Nazi-occupied Europe in 1944.
Ten years earlier, as antisemitism in Hungary rose to worrying heights, a teenage Hannah became increasingly aware of the precarious status of Jews in society. She and older brother György joined the Zionist youth movement Maccabea and began learning Hebrew.
As World War II gathered speed, so did the danger. Thousands of Hungarian Jews were being sent to Auschwitz, and Hannah - a poet, a dreamer, and a soldier - enrolled in the Haganah, the pre-state Jewish army, to fight for a Jewish future.
Hannah trained to parachute into Yugoslavia. Her mission was to assist in the rescue of Hungarian Jews about to be deported. Knowing she might never return, Hannah wrote György a farewell letter, addressing him as “my dear Giora.” The two had always been close. They moved to Israel (known at that time as Palestine) together. When Hannah set off on her mission, he carried his own quiet burden: two idealistic siblings raised in Budapest, now separated by war.
Captured and ultimately killed, Hannah’s mission - and her life - ended in tragedy. But György survived. After the war, he devoted himself to preserving her poems, letters, and legacy, ensuring the world would never forget his sister’s bravery. Together, even when apart, their sibling love endured.
Today in Israel, thanks in part to her brother’s efforts, Chana Senesh is a household name and her poem, Eli Eli, has been sung by millions.
What is something you can do to show someone you care for that they are valuable and important?
On the Haftara
Written by Rabbi Barry Kleinberg
Inspired by the Teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
Judges (Shoftim) 11:1–33 tells the story of Yiftach, a mighty warrior from Gilad who was the son of a prostitute. Rejected by his family, he lives in exile but soon gains a reputation as a great military leader.
When the Ammonites threaten Israel, the elders of Gilad ask Yiftach to lead them in battle. He agrees only on the condition that he will be appointed their leader if they are victorious.
Before fighting, Yiftach tries to resolve the conflict diplomatically, explaining Israel’s right to the land and its peaceful past with neighbouring nations. The Ammonite king rejects the argument. Yiftach then vows to offer whatever comes out of his house first as a burnt offering if God grants him victory. Empowered by the Spirit of the Lord, he defeats the Ammonites decisively. The passage ends with his triumph, setting the stage for the tragic consequence of his vow in the verses that follow.
What is unusual about the story of Yiftach?
Points to Ponder
Read Judges 11:34-340 (included this week in Yemenite tradition).
How do you feel about this ending of the story of Yiftach?
Can you link this epilogue to the theme Rabbi Sacks explored in Parshat Chukat?
Can you link it to an event in Avraham’s life?
Tanach Connections
Parsha & Haftara Links
HaRav Yaakov Medan notes that in the Haftara, Yiftach relates Israel’s journey from Kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, to the conquest of the east bank of the Jordan from Sichon. The Parsha deals with this journey in detail, creating an obvious link between the two.
However, Yiftach’s account introduces three important details:
Israel asked to pass northward not only through the land of Edom, but also through the land of the king of Moav, and he too refused to let them come through.
Three hundred years passed from the day of the Israelites’ conquest of the land of the Ammorites until the days of Yiftach. This detail has no other source, so Yiftach’s account is the basis for establishing the chronology of the days of the Judges.
Yiftach is the first to establish the legal principle that “Ammon and Moav purified Sichon.” This means that, although the Israelites were prohibited from conquering the lands of Ammon and Moav, because God had given them to the descendants of Lot, they were permitted to conquer from the hands of Sichon the lands that he had previously conquered from Ammon and Moav.
There is an allusion to this in the Parsha, in the Torah’s expanded discussion of Sichon’s conquests in the land of Moav, but it is stated more explicitly by Yiftach.
Putting the Haftara into Context
On the Book of Judges
Yiftach leads the people for six years in total, taking over before Samson, but after Deborah and Gideon’s time.
Yiftach’s vow to God seems somewhat strange. While a warrior often indicates that he will make a sacrifice to God upon his triumphant return from battle, Yiftach is (intentionally?) vague concerning the thing to be sacrificed:
Yiftach declared a vow to God and he said: ‘if you will completely surrender Bnai Ammon into my hands, then that which (literally “he that”) shall go forth from the portals of my house to greet me when I return in peace from Bnai Ammon will be for God, and I shall offer it (literally “him”) as a burnt offering!’
The rabbis, when commenting upon this episode, tell us:
Said Rabbi Shemuel bar Nachmani in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: Four biblical figures initiated vows. Three of them asked inappropriately but God nevertheless responded appropriately, while the fourth asked inappropriately and God responded in kind.
Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Ta’anit 4a
The Rabbis explain that “the fourth” refers to Yiftach (See Judges 11:1–40). How do you understand this passage?
Quote of the Week
“Words create moral obligations, and moral obligations, undertaken responsibly and honoured faithfully, create the possibility of a free society. So – always do what you say you are going to do. If we fail to keep our word, eventually we will lose our freedom.”
When you make promises to others, how sure are you that you can keep your word?
Written as an accompaniment to Rabbi Sacks’ weekly Covenant & Conversation essay, the
Family Edition
is aimed at connecting teenagers with his ideas and thoughts on the parsha.
With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship of Covenant &
Conversation, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel.
“I have loved the Torah of R’ Chaim Schimmel ever since I first encountered it. It
strives to be not just about truth on the surface but also its connection to a
deeper truth beneath. Together with Anna, his remarkable wife of 60 years, they
built a life dedicated to love of family, community, and Torah. An extraordinary
couple who have moved me beyond measure by the example of their lives.” — Rabbi
Sacks
Losing Miriam
Family Edition
Chukat
Inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
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Losing Miriam
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The Summary
● This summary is adapted from the essay written by Rabbi Sacks in 2012, available here.
It is a scene that still has the power to shock us. The people complain about their lack of water, again. But this time, Moshe loses control: “Listen, you rebels,” he shouts at them. “Shall we bring you water out of this rock?” He then strikes the rock twice with his staff.
We are told that after this, Moshe is not permitted to lead the people into Israel. Many see it as a punishment for him losing his temper. Or perhaps did not “sin.” Maybe he was the right leader for the generation that left Egypt, but not for their children, who needed inspiration more than intervention. Moshe’s leadership, like the sun, was overpowering. Joshua’s, like the moon, empowered others.
But the question remains: Why did Moshe lose control here? The people were in a desert, and therefore often worried about water. He had faced similar complaints before, both at Mara and Rephidim. At Rephidim, he even feared being stoned, yet kept his composure. Why did he lose it now?
The text gives us a subtle clue, by beginning the chapter: “In the first month, the whole Israelite community arrived at the desert of Zin, and they stayed at Kadesh. There Miriam died and was buried. Now there was no water for the community…” Tradition tells of a miraculous well that accompanied the Israelites during Miriam’s lifetime, in her merit. When she died, the water ceased. But there’s more. Moshe had just lost his sister. This wasn’t just about water. It was about grief.
Loss of a sibling is deeply personal. Unlike a parent, a sibling belongs to your generation. Their death brings mortality painfully close. And Miriam had been more than Moshe’s sister; she had helped to save his life. As a child, she watched over his basket on the Nile, then bravely spoke to Pharaoh’s daughter to ensure Moshe was raised by his own mother. Throughout his life, Miriam was an important presence. She was the one who led the women in song at the Red Sea. She supported his leadership and his mission, only challenging him once, out of concern for his wife. (Though punished, the Sages defend her motives here as sincere.)
Miriam’s death therefore left Moshe vulnerable. The people’s complaints about water coincided with the personal void her absence created. It wasn’t just that the people lost their water; Moshe lost the sister who had always supported and guided him.
Bereavement leaves us deeply vulnerable. In the midst of loss, we can find it hard to control our emotions. We make mistakes. We act rashly. We lose judgement. Even prophets are not immune. Rambam explains that Yaakov, also a prophet, did not know Yosef was alive because grief blocks prophecy.
So, when God told Moshe to speak to the rock, perhaps the message didn’t fully register. Overwhelmed with grief, he struck instead. Yes, Moshe lost his temper. He struck the rock. He said “we” instead of “God.” But the deeper truth is more human than theological. Moshe’s outburst was an expression of profound personal loss. The sister who once saved him, sang with him, and stood by him through decades of leadership was gone.
Ultimately, this is not just a story of failure or disobedience. It is a portrait of Moshe’s humanity. The story of the moment Moses lost his confidence and calm is ultimately less about leadership and crisis, or about a staff and a rock, than about a great Jewish woman, Miriam, appreciated fully only when she was no longer there.
Around the Shabbat Table
Questions to Ponder
On the Parsha
Written by Sara Lamm
Inspired by the Teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
The Parsha in a Nutshell
We learn the laws of the Red Heifer, whose ashes purify those who have become tamei through contact with the dead. Bnai Yisrael reach Zin. Miriam dies and the people demand water. God instructs Moshe to speak to a rock, but Moshe angrily strikes it instead. Though water flows, God decrees that Moshe and Aharon will not enter the Promised Land. Aharon dies on Mount Hor, succeeded by his son Elazar. When snakes attack after more complaints, God commands Moshe to raise a brass serpent, bringing healing to those who look upon it. Bnai Yisrael also defeat Sichon and Og, securing territory east of the Jordan.
Philosophy of Rabbi Sacks
Delving Deeper
In a truly remarkable passage, the Sages said that in the days when the people were slaves in Egypt, Miriam persuaded her father Amram, the leading scholar of his generation, to annul his decree that Hebrew husbands should divorce their wives and have no more children. His ruling was due to the 50 per cent chance that any child born would be killed. “Your decree,” said Miriam, “is worse than Pharaoh’s. He only decreed against the males, yours applies to females also. He intends to rob children of life in this world; you would deny them even life in the World to Come.”
Amram followed her superior logic. Husbands and wives were reunited. Yocheved became pregnant and Moshe was born. Note that this Midrash, told by the Sages, unambiguously implies that a six-year-old girl had more faith and wisdom than the leading rabbi of the generation!
Moshe surely knew what he owed his elder sister. In this light, the incident at Zin is less about striking a rock or disobeying God, and more about the raw, destabilising power of bereavement, even for the greatest prophet, when faced with the absence of a beloved sister.
Parsha Activity
Lean on Me
Everyone stands in pairs, back-to-back or side-by-side, leaning gently against each other to stay balanced. Someone calls ‘Start’ and from that point, all you have to do is to try taking small steps together while leaning, shifting weight, or adding a third person to form a leaning chain. The goal is to work together to stay upright without falling.
What are the difficulties of learning to “lean” on someone?
What are the benefits?
A Story for the Ages
Losing Hannah
Hannah Szenes was just 23 years old when she jumped from a British plane into Nazi-occupied Europe in 1944.
Ten years earlier, as antisemitism in Hungary rose to worrying heights, a teenage Hannah became increasingly aware of the precarious status of Jews in society. She and older brother György joined the Zionist youth movement Maccabea and began learning Hebrew.
As World War II gathered speed, so did the danger. Thousands of Hungarian Jews were being sent to Auschwitz, and Hannah - a poet, a dreamer, and a soldier - enrolled in the Haganah, the pre-state Jewish army, to fight for a Jewish future.
Hannah trained to parachute into Yugoslavia. Her mission was to assist in the rescue of Hungarian Jews about to be deported. Knowing she might never return, Hannah wrote György a farewell letter, addressing him as “my dear Giora.” The two had always been close. They moved to Israel (known at that time as Palestine) together. When Hannah set off on her mission, he carried his own quiet burden: two idealistic siblings raised in Budapest, now separated by war.
Captured and ultimately killed, Hannah’s mission - and her life - ended in tragedy. But György survived. After the war, he devoted himself to preserving her poems, letters, and legacy, ensuring the world would never forget his sister’s bravery. Together, even when apart, their sibling love endured.
Today in Israel, thanks in part to her brother’s efforts, Chana Senesh is a household name and her poem, Eli Eli, has been sung by millions.
What is something you can do to show someone you care for that they are valuable and important?
On the Haftara
Written by Rabbi Barry Kleinberg
Inspired by the Teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
The Haftara reading
in a Nutshell
Judges 11:1 – 33 (Ashkenazim and Sephardim)
Judges 11:1 – 40 (Yemenites)
Judges (Shoftim) 11:1–33 tells the story of Yiftach, a mighty warrior from Gilad who was the son of a prostitute. Rejected by his family, he lives in exile but soon gains a reputation as a great military leader.
When the Ammonites threaten Israel, the elders of Gilad ask Yiftach to lead them in battle. He agrees only on the condition that he will be appointed their leader if they are victorious.
Before fighting, Yiftach tries to resolve the conflict diplomatically, explaining Israel’s right to the land and its peaceful past with neighbouring nations. The Ammonite king rejects the argument. Yiftach then vows to offer whatever comes out of his house first as a burnt offering if God grants him victory. Empowered by the Spirit of the Lord, he defeats the Ammonites decisively. The passage ends with his triumph, setting the stage for the tragic consequence of his vow in the verses that follow.
Points to Ponder
Read Judges 11:34-340 (included this week in Yemenite tradition).
Tanach Connections
Parsha & Haftara Links
HaRav Yaakov Medan notes that in the Haftara, Yiftach relates Israel’s journey from Kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, to the conquest of the east bank of the Jordan from Sichon. The Parsha deals with this journey in detail, creating an obvious link between the two.
However, Yiftach’s account introduces three important details:
There is an allusion to this in the Parsha, in the Torah’s expanded discussion of Sichon’s conquests in the land of Moav, but it is stated more explicitly by Yiftach.
Putting the Haftara into Context
On the Book of Judges
Yiftach leads the people for six years in total, taking over before Samson, but after Deborah and Gideon’s time.
Yiftach’s vow to God seems somewhat strange. While a warrior often indicates that he will make a sacrifice to God upon his triumphant return from battle, Yiftach is (intentionally?) vague concerning the thing to be sacrificed:
The rabbis, when commenting upon this episode, tell us:
The Rabbis explain that “the fourth” refers to Yiftach (See Judges 11:1–40). How do you understand this passage?
Quote of the Week
“Words create moral obligations, and moral obligations, undertaken responsibly and honoured faithfully, create the possibility of a free society. So – always do what you say you are going to do. If we fail to keep our word, eventually we will lose our freedom.”
Keeping Our Word, Matot, Covenant & Conversation
Further Ponderings
When you make promises to others, how sure are you that you can keep your word?
Written as an accompaniment to Rabbi Sacks’ weekly Covenant & Conversation essay, the Family Edition is aimed at connecting teenagers with his ideas and thoughts on the parsha.
With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship of Covenant & Conversation, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel.
The Leader as Servant
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Kohelet, Tolstoy, and the Red Heifer
Losing Miriam