Hopes and Fears
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Chayei Sarah

Inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

The Summary

The sedra of Chayei Sarah focuses on two main episodes, in quite a lot of detail: The first episode involves Avraham needing to own some land of his own, and buying a field with a cave to bury Sarah. The second episode focuses on when Avraham’s servant embarks on his mission to find a wife for Yitzchak.

Why these two stories? The Torah is not a history book, and every word is there for a reason. What we need to understand about the Torah is that it is a teaching - it records what happened when the events carry lessons for every generation. What, then, is the message we should take from these events?

Avraham, the first bearer of the covenant with God, has received two great promises - of land and of children - each repeated five times. God tells him that the land of Canaan will be his “everlasting possession,” and that his descendants will be as numerous as “the stars of the sky” and “the sand on the seashore.” Yet when Sarah dies, Avraham owns no land and has only one unmarried son, Yitzchak, to carry on his Jewish legacy. How then will these promises be fulfilled?

The first story tells how Avraham endeavours to buy his wife a burial place. He must bargain at length with the Hittites, and it is not an easy negotiation. Though they address him with respect, calling him “a prince of God,” their words conceal resistance. As a foreigner, Avraham has no right to own land. The offer to “give” him a burial site hides their refusal to let him buy one. Avraham insists, knowing if he cannot own the land, it will not truly be his. Only after agreeing to pay an inflated price - four hundred silver shekels - does he finally acquire the field of Machpelah. It is a small beginning: one field and a cave, a burial place bought at great cost. Yet it is the first piece of the Promised Land actually owned by a Jew.

The second story concerns finding a wife for Yitzchak. Avraham has a son but no grandchildren; the covenant cannot continue without them. He enlists to help of his servant. Although the text does not state his name here, tradition tells us that Eliezer is his name. Eliezer sets off, prays for success, and quickly meets Rivka. She shows kindness and generosity, and the servant recognises God’s hand in their meeting. But again, obtaining her family’s consent is difficult. Her brother Lavan and mother hesitate, wanting her to delay her departure. Only after more gifts and persuasion is Rivka permitted to go with him. Yitzchak marries her, and the covenant continues.

Through these two episodes, it is clear to see that God’s promises are not fulfilled automatically - they take human effort. Yes, Avraham is promised land and children, but neither comes easily. The message is clear: Divine promises are not guarantees; they are challenges. God’s words call for human courage, patience, and faith. Avraham must act - persistently and bravely - even when the obstacles seem impossible.

The promises to Avraham - a land and a future - still define Jewish life today. Four thousand years later, the same two concerns remain at the heart of the Jewish people: the safety and security of Israel, and the continuity of the Jewish people. Avraham’s hopes and fears are still ours.

Now, as then, the covenant does not mean leaving the future to God. The Torah’s vision is the opposite. The covenant is God’s challenge to us, not ours to Him. Avraham realised that God was depending on him. Faith does not mean passivity; it means courage and responsibility. The future will unfold, but it is we - inspired and strengthened by God’s promise - who must bring it about.

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Questions to Ponder

1. “Divine promises are not guarantees; they are challenges.” What does this message mean to you?

2. Why is struggle such an important part of faith?

3. WWhere else in Tanach are the characters tested in their faith and commitment to God? What about in later Jewish history?

The Torah records events not as history but as teachings with lasting lessons for every generation. And faith is not passive trust. It requires active commitment to bring God’s promises to reality through human courage and resolve.

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With Sara Lamm

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Chayei Sarah begins with Sarah’s passing at the age of 127. After careful, diplomatic negotiations with a group of Hittites, Avraham purchases the Cave of Machpelah in Chevron from Ephron the Hittite for 400 silver shekels. This is the first piece of land ever owned by the Jewish people in the Land of Israel.

Avraham then sends his trusted servant (Eliezer, we believe) to Charan to find a wife for Yitzchak. At the village well, Eliezer prays for a sign: the right woman will have the same traits of kindness and hospitality as Avraham - perhaps she will offer water not only to him but also to his camels.

Rivka, daughter of Betuel and granddaughter of Avraham’s brother Nachor, arrives and fulfils this sign.

Eliezer recounts the events to Rivka’s family. Eventually they agree to the match. Rivka travels back with him to Canaan, and Yitzchak is praying in the field as they approach. When Rivka sees him, she tumbles off her camel. They marry, and Yitzchak loves her deeply, which brings him great comfort after his mother’s death.

Later, Avraham marries Keturah (another name for Hagar) and has six more sons, though Yitzchak remains his sole heir. Avraham dies at 175 and his sons Yitzchak and Yishmael bury him beside Sarah in the Cave of Machpelah.

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Eliezer searched for Rivka by looking for simple signs of kindness. In this game, only the person playing “Eliezer” can speak. Everyone else must find a partner through gestures, smiles, miming or pointing. No talking allowed! Eliezer suggests a category like “Find someone who loves animals” or “Find someone who helps without being asked.”

Players silently move around and pair up with someone they think shares that trait. Once everyone’s matched, Eliezer reveals the next clue.

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The thing that everyone most admired about Ora was her capacity for hope. She and her husband had very little money, and even when he died, and she was left to raise their son Lior alone, she remained hopeful. Life was not easy, but Ora strove to keep their home warm and bright, working hard to earn enough for food, heat, and clothes. Every night, she told Lior, “God has set a light in you, my son. And one day your light will shine brightly in this world. Great things will happen for you.”

When he was young, Lior believed her completely. But as he grew up, he began to doubt the words. He got a job as a potter’s apprentice, but his hands were clumsy and unsure. When his pots cracked in the kiln, he felt deep disappointment. Sometimes he even muttered, “So much for my light.”

One night he turned to his mother with tears in his eyes, “Remember your promise that I was special? Why did you say it? I look at my hands as they fail at every task, and it feels impossible to believe your words.”

Ora smiled gently at her son. “I promised the light was there. I never said it would shine without work.”

So Lior kept trying. He learned to shape clay slower, to guide it gently. He learned to accept mistakes, then to mend them. As the years passed, he developed his own techniques, especially known for his beautiful candle sticks and lamp holders. The light would glow from his creations, shining brightly and beautifully, illuminating rooms and homes.  

One night Ora held up a lampstand in wonder and smiled at her son. “Look at your light!” she exclaimed. He laughed. “Just as you promised!” She touched his hand. “I may have planted the idea, but it is you who brought it to life.”

Nowadays Lior teaches many young apprentices of his own. His mother’s words live on through his work - shining quietly in kitchens, on tables, in the hands of strangers.

Together, we can make things better. That is hope, as Rabbi Sacks taught.

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Our Cards & Conversation packs include one card for every parsha. On one side, you’ll find an interesting question from the Torah to think about and discuss. Flip it over, and you’ll discover an idea from Rabbi Sacks that shines a new light on the parsha.

(Bereishit 24:63)

Yitzchak is alone in a field; a place between heaven and earth. He is in conversation with God, modelling prayer for us. Moments later, he meets Rivka for the first time.

QUESTION:

Why does the Torah describe this as conversation, instead of prayer?

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Rabbi Sacks on Bereishit 24:63 (in the Koren Sacks Humash) offers an answer:

Prayer is a conversation between heaven and earth. But conversation is also prayer – for in true conversation, I open myself up to the reality of another person. I enter his or her world. I begin to see things from a perspective not my own. In the touch of the two selves, both are changed.”

In Hebrew, the same word is used for both prayer and conversation. Yitzchak wasn’t just thinking quietly, or planning the rest of his day, he was speaking from his heart.

Find out more about our packs of discussion cards by visiting the webpage:

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Mitzva of the Week

In Chayei Sarah, we learn a lot about the concept of Chessed. We see it with the way Rivka treats Eliezer and his camels, and we also see it in the way Avraham buries his wife, Sarah. The mitzva of burying the dead teaches us the concept of “chessed shel emet” - the truest form of loving-kindness.

The highest form of Chessed is a mitzva that you do which can never be repaid or reciprocated by the other person. When Avraham buries Sarah, he performs a selfless act of love, caring for someone who can never repay him.

Practically Speaking

The way Avraham prioritised finding a burial-place for Sarah showed Chessed shel emet, reminding us that small acts of compassion bring holiness into the world, even when no one is watching.

As Rabbi Sacks explains, Chessed is in many ways greater than Tzedakah! It is action, not material goods. It is “hospitality to the lonely, visiting the sick, comforting the bereaved, raising the spirits of the depressed, helping people through crises in their lives, and making those at the margins feel part of the community... A community based on Chessed is a place of grace, where everyone feels honoured and everyone is at home.”

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Draw a picture or make a small gift for someone who might be sad or lonely, and ask a parent or teacher to deliver it quietly.

Send a card to someone in hospital / living alone / in a care home. You don't even have to know their name, to make someone smile. And they don't need to know yours!

Think carefully, then do something kind for someone who will never know it was you: leave an encouraging note, tidy or clean a shared space, or help someone anonymously.

If you're feeling more ambitious, think about a Chessed project you could initiate. Work in a group to come together with others to do more!

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Guiding you through Torah step by step, with insights from the Koren Sacks Humash with translation and commentary by Rabbi Sacks. Each step takes us a little deeper and invites ‘Torah as Conversation,’ just as Rabbi Sacks taught.

Find out more about the Koren Sacks Humash >

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Why did Hashem choose Avraham?

“וַיֵּצֵא יִצְחָק לָשׂוּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶה לִפְנוֹת עָרֶב...”

  • Where was Yitzchak going? And why?
  • Why does the verse make sure we know what time of day this event took place?
  • Does it feel relevant that Yitzchak’s first meeting with Rivka happens right after this moment of prayer and reflection?

“...towards evening...”

“…to mediate…”

Add your own questions and apply what you’ve learned to other examples in the Torah, and in your own life!

  1. What does Yitzchak’s reflection before meeting Rivka teach us about faith and partnership with God?
  2. If prayer is a conversation, how does it too become part of our covenant with God?

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